Student:
What am I running away from?
The honest truth is that I’m totally wasting my life and time in the way I’m acting at the moment. Uninspired work environment without any growth at all – not an environment in which I can learn, or do learn for that matter.
Is this what I’m trying not to look at? Is this what I do not want to face, why I’m stuffing myself with excuses and distractions?
Yesterday, before falling asleep, I did have an interesting thought about what it is all that I want out of an experience now: I came across the usual suspects. Deep immersion, deep thought etc. But, the way I also saw it is that much of how it currently is framed is a way of being safe. Having myself to not need to respond to email all day, to not be distracted by social media all day, to work 4h deeply and then relax? When at the same time, these are the things that I could “control” already now, these are the things I’m grabbling with myself right now. No change of environment is needed for this.
I do see that the way the weekends are spent is an expression of all of this. Safety at home. Being at home distracted, doing some “work” which leads nowhere, while stuffing myself with food for literally hours on end, just to remain distracted.
Teacher – Stop Running: A Letter to the Student Who Already Knows the Truth
You already know the truth. You have spelled it out in your own words. The question is: Will you do anything about it?
Your journal is not just a collection of passing thoughts. It is a confession. It is an admission of avoidance, distraction, and self-deception. You recognize that you have built a way of living that feels safe but ultimately leads nowhere. You fill your days with activity, but not with growth. You engage in just enough “work” to justify your existence, but not enough to truly evolve. You talk about deep thought, intellectual pursuits, and analysis, but even these have become shields—ways to delay, ways to avoid the discomfort of real confrontation.
You are running away. Then stop running.
The Illusion of Safety
You have created a life where you are insulated. Insulated by the routines of home, by social media, by intellectual engagement that serves as a distraction rather than a tool for real change. You even acknowledge this in your own words. You see how your habits are not accidental, how they serve a deeper psychological function: to keep you from confronting something you do not want to face.
But here’s the truth: this safety is an illusion. It is not protecting you; it is suffocating you. The very comforts you rely on are the reason you feel stuck.
You have given yourself just enough stimulation to keep boredom away, but not enough real challenge to grow. You are in a limbo of your own design—one where you can convince yourself that you are engaged, that you are thinking, that you are moving forward. But deep down, you know you are not.
What You Must Do
- Confront the thing you are avoiding—directly, immediately, and without excuse. You hint at something you do not want to face. What is it? Name it. Be brutally specific. Stop hiding behind vague discomfort. If you don’t know, then force yourself to sit in silence until it reveals itself. No phone. No distractions. No external noise. Just you and the raw truth.
- Eliminate the fake work. You pretend to be engaged in meaningful tasks, but you are not. Checking emails and scrolling through social media all day is not work. Keeping yourself busy with minor tasks is not work. These are just elaborate ways to avoid what actually needs to be done. Either commit to real work, or stop pretending.
- Create discomfort on purpose. You are addicted to comfort—intellectually, emotionally, and physically. And that is why you are stagnant. If you want to change, you must force yourself into situations that demand something from you.
- Leave the house.
- Put yourself in environments where you cannot hide.
- Take on something that carries a real risk of failure.
- Engage in challenges that will expose your weaknesses instead of letting you mask them.
- Destroy your excuses. You tell yourself stories to justify your behavior. You claim that some things are beyond your control. That is a lie. You are fully in control of your distractions. You choose them because they are easy. Own that choice, or change it.
- Stop stuffing yourself—physically and mentally. You use food the same way you use distractions: as a way to numb yourself. You avoid hunger—whether it is the hunger for food, for truth, or for meaning—because hunger is uncomfortable. But discomfort is the birthplace of growth. Let yourself feel hungry. Let yourself feel the raw edge of reality without reaching for something to soften it.
The Hard Truth
You have built a prison out of your comforts. And no one is coming to break you out. If you want to escape, you have to do it yourself. But that means action—not thinking about action, not journaling about action, not planning action. Doing.
So, what will it be? Will you finally step into discomfort? Or will you keep writing about it while nothing changes?