It is a common human tendency to judge others harshly for the very things we struggle with in ourselves. We see someone display weakness, laziness, or fear, and it evokes a strong reaction within us. We become critical, dismissive, and often harsh. But why does this happen? What lies beneath this impulse to project judgement outward?
The Root of Projection
At its core, this harsh judgement is an act of projection. The mind is fundamentally self-protective. It resists facing its own inadequacies and failures because doing so brings discomfort, unease, and even pain. It requires an honesty and vulnerability that the ego inherently resists. To avoid this discomfort, the mind projects what it fears or dislikes within itself onto others.
When you observe in someone else a behaviour or trait that you dislike within yourself, it triggers a subconscious defence mechanism. You see your own laziness reflected in someone else’s actions, and rather than acknowledge it within yourself, you judge them. You distance yourself from the reflection because it challenges the image you have created of yourself. Judgment, therefore, becomes a way to escape self-reflection.
Judgement as a Mirror
What often goes unrecognized is that judgment is not a reflection of the other person, but a reflection of the one doing the judging. The irritation you feel is not caused by the external behaviour—it is caused by the internal conflict. You are judging not the person, but the reflection of yourself that you see in them. This is why the traits we harshly judge in others are often the very traits that we have not come to terms with in ourselves.
Consider this: when you are truly at peace with something within yourself, the same behaviour in others does not disturb you. A man who is secure in his abilities does not need to ridicule another for his failures. A woman who has made peace with her past does not harshly judge others for theirs. Judgment arises where there is a lack of understanding within oneself.
The Futility of Judgement
To judge another harshly is to misunderstand oneself. When you judge, you are essentially avoiding the root cause of your own discomfort. Judgment becomes a temporary relief from facing yourself. It allows you to avoid self-awareness and instead focus outwardly on what is wrong with others. But this is merely a distraction—a way to maintain the illusion that the problem lies outside of you.
This judgment is futile. It changes nothing, solves nothing, and only deepens the disconnect between you and yourself. It reinforces the walls that keep you from understanding your own struggles. Judgment is a blindness—a deliberate turning away from the truth of your own inadequacies.
The Path to Self-Understanding
If you wish to transcend this tendency to harshly judge, you must be willing to face yourself honestly. You must be willing to drop the veil of superiority and acknowledge your own weaknesses without excuse or justification. This is not easy. The mind will resist. It will seek distractions and justifications, and it will rationalize away uncomfortable truths.
But if you are serious about understanding yourself, you must go beyond this resistance. You must recognize that the discomfort you feel when seeing certain traits in others is a signal—an indication that these traits exist within you and are unresolved. This awareness is not an opportunity for self-condemnation, but for growth. If you can understand the source of your own struggle, judgement naturally dissipates.
When a person truly understands their own inadequacy, they do not need to judge another for it. They know the difficulty of overcoming it. They know the pain of living with it. Judgement is replaced by understanding, and understanding leads to compassion—not out of virtue, but out of a recognition of shared humanity.
Judgement often comes from a desire to feel superior. By judging others, you affirm to yourself that you are not like them, that you are somehow better. But this is an illusion. True understanding reveals that there is no superiority in judgement, only avoidance. The man who judges others harshly is not strong—he is running from his own weaknesses.
Superiority is a construct of the insecure mind. It arises from the need to protect one’s image and status. But those who are secure in themselves do not seek superiority. They seek honesty. They seek to understand themselves and, in doing so, they no longer need to judge others harshly.
In the end, the harsh judgement you cast on others is a reflection of your own unresolved struggles. It is a projection, a defense mechanism, an attempt to avoid facing the truth within yourself. To judge another harshly is to misunderstand your own humanity. When you become truly honest with yourself, judgement dissipates—not through a deliberate act of virtue, but as a natural consequence of self-understanding.
So, if you find yourself judging others harshly, let it be a signal. Let it be an opportunity to turn inward and examine what you have not yet come to terms with. Do not run from your discomfort—face it. Understand it. And in doing so, free yourself from the need to judge others harshly.
This is the path to self-awareness. And only in self-awareness is there true freedom.
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