Student:
I feel trapped and maxed out.
I know the current situation and my addictions cost me everything! Life I a constant chain of events, always in motion.
I start my day working out, which I enjoy. Yet I do not make the progress I have been looking for for years, which makes me think that I am not sincere about the goal. And while running, while working out, I am always listening to something – some podcast, some audio – looking for prescriptions.
This goes on all day. I distract myself – my screen is a constant companion. I feel what it is costing me, how I can’t concentrate anymore without the desire to escape. Yet I continue. I constantly think about food, about something to distract me.
This continues when I come back from work at night, when I often continue eating before bed, even though I know how it will impact my sleep and how I will feel the next day.
At work, I feel disconnected, disillusioned of what has happened. I have many intellectual interests and feel that living under the thumb of someone else, slaving away in this environment, where I am focused on and exposed to petty political games, is a waste of my precious time. Yet I use this also as an excuse to distract myself.
This entire situation – it is not where I want to be, where I want to go. It is costing me everything…
Teacher:
The truth is: You do not actually want to change.
You say it is costing you everything. Yet you continue. You say you see the damage. Yet you do not stop. That means you do not actually care. Not really. You only say you care. You enjoy the distractions more than you enjoy the idea of freedom. You prefer the numbing cycle of consumption over the sharpness of clarity.
You drown yourself in podcasts, in screens, in food—because silence terrifies you. Because to sit in the rawness of your own existence without escape would mean you have to face it. And you do not want to face it. You want prescriptions, formulas, easy exits. You want a hand to pull you out while you continue sinking yourself in.
There is no trick to this. No strategy. No 5-step program. You stop when you are truly ready to stop. Not when you “should.” Not when it’s “bad for you.” But when you, deep in your bones, are done.
Until then, this cycle will continue. Because the honest truth is: You still want it.
So decide. Stay in it, or leave it. But do not lie to yourself.
Student:
These are wise words to me. Yet, I feel like the limit has been reached where enough is enough. I want clarity. I WANT TO STOP!
Teacher:
Then stop.
Not tomorrow. Not later tonight. Not after “one last time.” Now.
Stop reaching for the screen. Stop stuffing yourself with food. Stop drowning in noise. Stop seeking prescriptions.
Sit in the silence. Let the discomfort come. Let the cravings rise. Let the pull of distraction scream at you. And do not move. Do not escape.
This is where you find out what you are made of.
You say you want clarity. You say enough is enough. But now comes the real test. Can you sit with yourself, with no escape? Can you endure the rawness of being without reaching for a crutch?
This is not about making a plan. This is not about setting goals. This is about whether you will actually choose clarity over comfort in the moment where it matters.
Right now, in this second, do you actually stop? Or do you keep playing the game?
Student:
What you have said, is what I realize: I am always exactly where I want to be.
I have the things that I have in my life exactly because I could not live without them. I am in the current period, exactly because it gives me the things I could not live without. Period!
This makes me ask what the current work situation gives me, that I cannot live without. Because it costs me so much!
And I realized this: it permits me to be too “active” with my day to day job to think about what it is that I want to do with my life. It gives me the opportunity to be active and not face the danger and uncertainty of not having anything “clear” to show to the people around me and myself.
At least, I am safe (and busy). It gives me a safe, albeit pathetic, income instead of having to face the uncertain market!
These things are what I get out of the current situation. I am in tears realizing this and the waste it represents.
Teacher:
Good. This is the first honest thing you have said.
You are not a victim. You are not trapped. You are choosing this because it gives you something you are unwilling to let go of. Safety. Busyness. A shield from facing the terrifying void of the unknown.
You see it now. That is good. But seeing it is not enough. What will you do with this truth?
Will you keep playing the game now that you know you are the one setting the board? Will you keep hiding behind activity, behind security, behind the comfort of an excuse?
Or will you finally stand in the storm of uncertainty and risk, naked and exposed, with nothing to hide behind?
You know what is true. But do you have the courage to act on it?
Student:
I have one final question. Is the topic of this conversation related to the fact that I prefer having lunch by myself instead of with others at work, that I prefer being safe at home on the weekend instead of going to parties and social events?
In this way, I can keep myself distracted, instead of facing the uncertainty, the chaos, the non-controlled environment, of real life.
After all, I may find an opportunity that would force me to step out of the known comfort while speaking to people.
Teacher:
Yes. It is exactly the same.
Your preference for solitude is not about peace. It is about control. It is about staying in an environment where nothing unpredictable can force you into action. Where no unexpected opportunity, no uncomfortable conversation, no external force can push you beyond the limits you have set for yourself.
At home, alone, you are safe. Not just from people, but from your own potential.
Because real life is chaotic. It is uncertain. And worst of all, it demands something from you. It forces you to respond, to adapt, to face the possibility of failure, embarrassment, or even success—the kind of success that would strip away all your excuses and force you to step into the unknown.
So you stay in. You avoid. You control. Because if you never put yourself in a situation where something could happen, then nothing ever has to happen.
But now you see the pattern. The question is: Will you continue choosing safety over life?