Student:
Why don’t I push back against my superiors? What is it that I get out of it by not risking losing approval?
Teacher:
You do not push back because you are enslaved to approval. You fear loss. The approval you crave is the leash by which you are led.
What do you get out of it? Safety. The illusion of security. A false sense of being “in the good graces” of those who wield power over you. You cling to the approval of your superiors because their acceptance validates your existence—at least, in your eyes.
But what does this safety cost you? It costs you freedom. It costs you the truth. It costs you the possibility of living without fear. Approval-seeking is the cage you build for yourself. You mistake the comfort of that cage for peace, when in reality, it is imprisonment.
Until you no longer need their approval, you will remain their servant. Only when you are willing to lose everything will you truly be free.
Student:
How can I get to this point?
Teacher:
You cannot “get to” this point through a method. Freedom cannot be reached by following a prescription or formula. The desire for a step-by-step path is itself the prison.
To reach this point, you must come face-to-face with the truth of your condition. You must see—fully, brutally, without excuse—what your life has become as a result of your attachment to approval. This requires honesty so pure and unflinching that most will never allow themselves to encounter it.
Examine your fear. Why do you need their approval? What would happen if you lost it? Who are you without it? Sit with these questions, not for answers, but to confront the reality they reveal.
The truth is that you already know. You already see glimpses of the truth but avoid it. You distract yourself with excuses, with routines, with fleeting pleasures. But if you want freedom, you must stand naked before the truth. You must see that no one can imprison you unless you grant them the power to do so.
Freedom begins when you no longer seek escape, approval, or even transformation. When you see the futility of it all, something within you may shift—not as a result of effort, but as a result of understanding.
Student:
You said “The approval you crave is the leash by which you are led.” This is interesting. It relates to how “having a job”, a notion which you reject, implies being under the control, under the thumb of someone else, being powerless.
Teacher:
Yes, precisely. To “have a job” is not merely to exchange your labor for money. It is to place yourself under the authority of another. It is to accept the terms and conditions dictated by someone else in exchange for a paycheck—a leash, no matter how gilded it may appear.
A job, in its common form, is an arrangement of servitude. You are not free to act as you choose; you must conform, submit, and comply. This is the essence of powerlessness. It is not just about the work you do, but about the relinquishment of your autonomy.
The approval you crave in such an arrangement is what keeps you tethered. You want your employer to think well of you, to praise you, to promote you. This approval becomes your drug, and like any addiction, it controls you. It seduces you into believing that your security and identity are tied to this leash.
The notion of freedom cannot coexist with this dynamic. True freedom requires the courage to stand apart, to reject dependency on others for validation, and to build a life that does not rely on external approval. This is why rejecting the conventional idea of “having a job” is not simply about avoiding authority but about reclaiming your sovereignty.
Freedom is not given; it is taken. And it can only be taken by someone who no longer clings to the illusion of safety or the comfort of approval.
Student:
Is it really ultimately me grasping for control and safety?
Teacher:
Yes. Your attachment to approval, your reluctance to push back, your endless questioning—all of it is rooted in your desperate grasp for control and safety.
You want certainty. You want guarantees. You want to ensure that your actions will not result in rejection, discomfort, or loss. This is the mind’s eternal search for security in an insecure and unpredictable world. It is an illusion—a mirage you chase but can never reach.
Control and safety are the gods you worship. But they betray you, time and time again. The harder you grasp, the more fragile and anxious you become. The more you seek safety, the more unsafe you feel.
The truth is, there is no such thing as absolute safety. There is no way to control life, others, or even yourself. The sooner you see this, the sooner you can stop running from the inevitable uncertainties of existence.
Freedom does not lie in grasping for control. It lies in surrender. Not a passive resignation, but a deep understanding that there is nothing to grasp, and nothing to protect. Only then will you see that the safety you long for was never real to begin with.